Unless you work there, you’re dating the bartender or have dated the bartender DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME! It’s called personal space!!!!!! I understand if you work there and I’m in your way. If you work there, you can physically pick me up & move me somewhere else and I won’t care. If I’m dating you or we’ve dated in the past, again, it’s fine. If you know me – or don’t know me – and think it’s ok to a) throw things at me, b) hit me, c) grab me, or d) kiss me (all of which has been done & NOT welcomed), I swear I’m going to break your arm. I’ve had it! Let me do my job & keep your paws off!!!!!
Also, I’m not your goddamn babysitter. Don’t sit at the end of the bar, slurring your words, too drunk to stand (especially bc you probably drank somewhere else, bc I would have cut your drunk ass off) & beg me to take you home & make me feel sorry for you. I’m not your mother & I’m not your girlfriend. You are NOT my responsibility. Don’t get wasted and plan on the bartender taking care of you because you know them. I’ve had a long night. The last thing I’m doing is moping up YOUR puke. It’s irresponsible. Also, guilting someone into making them take you home is not cool on so many levels. Being that wasted is not attractive & putting me in a position where you basically say it’s my couch or you driving drunk is NOT ok. If we’re close friends and I offer it, of course. You have friends, you have a phone. You’re capable of making other arrangements.
On the flip side, if I do like you & want to hang out, you should probably ask me what I’m doing when I get done with work. Note that this is totally different from “I’m wasteddddd can I stay on your couch?” Also, side note – everyone who has slept on my couch is an absolute peach & I <3 you & this does NOT apply to you guys, because when I say “of course, you’re more than welcome, I mean it.” Likewise, if I say “no,” I mean “no.”
Anddddd now I’m going to bed.
Hopefully I won’t hate everyone when I wake up 
)
<3 LC
