My cousin was killed by a drunk driver. I watched my cousin Sarah bawl her eyes out at her own Sweet Sixteen party because her older brother couldn’t be there, because some douchebag had too many Long Islands and got behind the wheel instead of calling a cab.
I WILL cut you off. I WILL give you a water – because chances are that you’re dehydrated, and I WILL take your keys. If you’ve had too much, the ignition key is going behind the bar. You can get anything from your car, you will be able to get in your house, but you will not be driving. You can scream, you can yell, throw stuff at me, threaten to call the cops or try to hit me, but you’re not getting your keys. ESPECIALLY if I know you and care about you.
Also, if you call the cops – GREAT! Yes, technically, taking your keys is theft. They belong to you, as does your car. But here’s how the conversation’s going to go:
Officer: “Did you take his keys?”
Bartender: “Yes, they were planning on driving intoxicated, which they clearly are. I was trying to prevent them from killing themselves/others/getting a DUI.”
Intoxicated Individual: “Gimmmme my keys, bitch!”
Bartender: “By law, I have to. Have fun with that dui.”
Intoxicated Indivial: ::goes anywhere near car, even just to unlock it to get something inside, even if they’re not planning on driving::
[INSERT SIRENS HERE. Fast forward to Drunky McDrunk in the drunk tank at the PD, with a nice shiny DUI & a court date]
So, please, DO call the cops. That way I can rest easy, knowing you can’t hurt yourself or anyone else while you’re in the drunk tank.
Also, be aware that there are consequences of either driving drunk or someone taking your keys:
Driving Drunk:
1) You kill yourself
2) You kill someone else
3) You have the lifelong guilt of someone else’s death hanging over your head
4) You seriously injure yourself – i.e. become a paraplegic
5) You total your car
6) You get a DUI
7) You lose your license
8 ) You lose your job because you lost your license & can no longer drive to and from work
9) ALL OF THE ABOVE, or a combination
Consequences of letting someone take your keys
1) You wake up. That’s it. You WAKE UP. You might have a headache, but you’re not 6 feet under & neither is anyone else that you might have hurt.
2) You spend $20 bucks on a cab (instead of $3,000 in lawyer fees to get out of a DUI)
3) You wake someone up by calling & asking them to give you a ride (instead of them getting a call from the police station or hospital, announcing that you’re dead or in critical condition; pretty sure your friends would prefer to come get you than attend your funeral)
4) You admit that you had too much to drink (instead of insisting that you’re right and totally sober & fine to drive). Admitting you’re wrong is probably the most difficult thing to do. It’s hard. But it’s going to be a million times harder to look a mother or father in the eye and explain why their child is dead (because you hit them when you drove drunk.)
I’ll say it again: You can yell at me. You can scream bloody murder, try to hit me, call the cops on me and or vow never to speak to me ever again. I will take all of it & THEN some. Because of me being “a stubborn asshole,” you’re going to wake up tomorrow. And, on the flip side, you MAY be irresponsible when it comes to your own life – that’s your choice – but once you get behind the wheel intoxicated, you’re a danger to others. It is NOT ok if you decide to play Russian roulette with the other cars and people on the road. That’s not your choice. By getting behind the wheel when you’re intoxicated, you’re basically saying that driving home is more important than possibly killing another human being. You don’t have the right to just snatch away anyone’s life like that.
And if you see someone who is attempting to drive a car when they’re intoxicated, TAKE THEIR KEYS. If they won’t surrender them, threaten to call the cops on them. Tell them why it’s a really BAD idea. Then, if they STILL won’t give up their keys, call the cops. I’d rather have a friend in the drunk tank with a DUI that hates me and won’t speak to me, than have a funeral to go to. Or several.
