New Obsessions July 2, 2008

Obsession #1: Whish Blueberry Mint Shave Crave
Gabby – you’re totally right! I LOVE this shave cream! It’s honestly the cadillac of shaving creams for women. It smells good and leaves my legs soft & moisturized – no after shaving lotion needed!   It has anti-aging stuff in it Plus, I’m a sucker for pretty packaging and I just love the retro-inspired bottle and box. I just checked the website out (super cute!) @ www.whishbody.com/ and they also have a papaya coconut one! I think I’m going to buy that when this bottle runs out

Obsession #2: Banana-flavored smoothies & alcoholic drinks

Malibu banana turns a pina colada into the most amazing thing ever. Love it!

My new favorite summer drink:

Surf’s Up (Is better frozen, but the traditional version of this cocktail is served on the xxx)
Malibu Banana
Creme de Banana
White Creme de Cacao
Pineapple Juice
Milk or cream

If you like vanilla cake shots (or “birthday cake” shots as I call them), you’ll love this drink. It’s sweet, fruity, tropical and an unexpected mix of yummy ingredients.

xoxo
GC

Supermarket Adventure Gone Wrong May 19, 2008

So, I had the day off today.   Which meant: Vintage shopping with Ash, my Aldi adventure, copious amounts of laundry and Desperate Housewives.

Aldi is cool.   I had driven by it before but had never ventured inside, so naturally, I googled it.   It’s an eco-friendly store that cuts prices in creative ways (only open select hours, people bring their own shopping bags, etc.)   It had a lot of European brands, but wasn’t what I expected.   I half expected it to be like a Chinese supermarket in the city – full of exciting, weird and unusual food items that are labeled in Chinese, with little or no English on the packaging, but with an assortment of European foods.  

Is it just me, or is there a “cow flavored” candy in the bottom left corner?

 I love Chinese supermarkets.   It’s a verifiable adventure.  Even a package of soup is exciting because you can’t read the label and have to attempt to figure out what it is (or how to cook it) based on the pictures.   It can get interesting, to say the least, and sometimes I have no *clue* what I’m buying, but the package is so intriging that I must buy it just so I can open it later to see if my hunch was right.  

Also, the Chinese have *great* desserts and super yummy candy, and after all, sugar is my favorite food group.  They also make these lychee gummi/jelly things which are phenomenal.  

They come in a big ass jug in assorted flavors.  Plus, Chinese supermarkets usually have these:

  

Kasugai gummies!   They’re fairly orgasmic and come in every fruit flavor imaginable, including kiwi and lychee.  Ahhh I miss Borough Park!  Don’t get me started on Bubble Tea.  If they replaced every Starbucks in America with an Asian bakery that  sold Bubble Tea, I’d be a happy girl.   I’ll take a venti, taro flavored, please.
           Anyway, the point is, Aldi did NOT live up to my expectations.  They had their own products, which were okay and fairly cheap, but the other products were European products that we already have in the US for the most part, like Haribo gummy bears and such.   The whole “shopping in another culture’s realm” experience was lost.  Meh.  I still got a huge jug of laundry detergent for $1.99.   And a bunch of other crap, and I only spent $20.  But the entire time I was there, this gross redneck kept eye raping me.  He was like Larry the Cable guy, only wayyyy creepy.  Don’t get me wrong.  Larry the Cable guy makes me laugh.  He’s a cool guy.    Supermarket sketch is what Larry the Cable guy would be if all of his shows and tours got cancelled and maybe then if he axe murdered Dane Cook and Jeff Foxworthy, while screaming ’git er done!’

I was wearing a skirt, but it really wasn’t that short.  I mean, I know the only real girl he’s seen in a while is his Mom, but that’s what his cousins are for, right?   And there’s really no excuse for leering at someone like that.   The way he looked at me was the same way Sal, the Bay Ridge bus driver looked at all of the girls when they boarded the schoolbus, as he chugged his paperbag swaddled beer.   It took me twice as long to shop because I kept having to run away from the icky bastard and he seriously didn’t take his eyes off of me.  He even waited for me in the parking lot so he could stare at me.  He put his shit in his car and then stood outside the door, watched me get in my car and then went back to his car.   How creepy is that?!   I wanted to scream “put your eyes back in your fucking head!”   I can’t get over it.   Where does he get off thinking it’s okay to make someone uncomfortable like that and ruin my shopping trip?   What ever happened to etiquette?  Did anyone ever tell him it’s not polite to stare and look a girl up and down repeatedly and follow her around a supermarket staring at her legs?   He looked like the kind of guy who would beat his wife if she got home 5 minutes late or if he didn’t like what she made him for dinner.   You know, the ones in movies who keep their significant other under lock and key and abuse them?   Ew.  I was freaked out that he might try to attack me in the parking lot and pull me into a van.   Guys like that give me the wiggins.  Stupid redneck.
            So, the next part of my day included lots of laundry (in which the washer ate my pantyhose) and Desperate Housewives, in which they revealed a lot but then fastforwarded 5 years.   Everything was cool but then Susan went home and her husband wasn’t Mike!   She leaned in and kissed some other dude passionately.  This better not be like the “Darren switch” on Bewitched.  Seriously.  Not cool, ABC.  Not cool.

Musings… April 14, 2008

So, it’s official.  In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past year and a
half, our economy has taken a serious dive.  Like the Titanic, it’s just about hit
rock bottom and I’m beginning to wonder if our government can resurrect it.  So
far, one major bank has reached financial fuck-ville and the feds have rushed in
to save it.  Google, which was at $644.71 a share on October 19th is now at
$458.19 a share.  It appears Apple is digging itself out of its grave and
Microsoft is currently at a whopping $28.56 per share.  The only stocks that are doing well
are high end luxury stocks like Gucci and True Religion (yes, girls, it’s a publicly
traded company now!)  However, even Ralph Lauren and Tiffany are
sliding downhill.  My advice?  BuyNetflix.  It’s steadily increasing and not too
expensive at $37.86 per share.  Not to mention its awesome internet and tv ad
campaign.

Piece of advice 2:  Prepare yourself for the worst.  Seriously. 

Start by fixing things when they break.
I’m so sick of how society just throws things away.  In the 1920s, when your
car broke down, you got it fixed.  When your blender broke, you called GE and
when your favorite shoes needed new soles, you took them to a cobbler.  In
2008, when your car breaks down, you lease a new one, and you throw out
your blender, your shoes and that table lamp that still works and looks fine
because you decided to redecorate with Pier1.   I think this is CRAP.  Start
fixing things!  If you don’t want your lamp anymore, give it to a friend, put it up
on craigslist, donate it to a homeless shelter!  And don’t get me started on fixing
shoes.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a cobbler within a 5 mile
radius?  There used to be one in every town in America!  Every.  Town.   I’m
convinced the only reason they still even exist are Manolo Blahnik and Christian
Louboutin.  What’s a girl to do these days when her favorite pair of heels need
some tlc?

             Frankly, I’m quite appalled at how “temporary” our society is becoming. 
Don’t get me wrong, I love Forever 21, but I have a problem with the fact that
most of their clothing is only good for one use and self-shreds in the washing
machine.  In the 1930s, when you bought a shirt, or a pair of pants, you took
them to the tailor, got them fitted exactly right and wore them for a number of
years.  They were made to last.  They took the beating from your washer and
dryer and were made of sturdy material.  The buttons were sewed on
adequately and hems didn’t fall apart right and left.  It was the era of hard work
and planning.  You went to work all week and passed that one store that had
whatever you deperately wanted in the window.   You pictured how you’d look
it in, how all eyes would be on you and how fabulously amazing you’d look.  
Funny how a simple shirt or pair of jeans can make you a rockstar for a day,
isn’t it?  You saved up for 3 weeks, went in, bought that item and cherished it.  
 And it didn’t fall apart.  Partly because it took time to save up for;
therefore you felt compelled to take care of it.  Today, you see something in the
mall, think ’eh, it’s kinda cute!  I’ll put it on my card and worry about it later.’ 
And then, when “later” rolls around, you’re left with a sweater you wore once
that has 2 missing buttons and is unravelling at the armpit and $16.95 worth of
damage on your Visa.   
              I’ve decided that its time to stop.  Instead of spending my pocket
change on temporary crap from chain stores, I am going to save.  I’m going to
be pickier.  I’m going to stop settling for stuff that looks “okay,” and hold out for
“bombshell.”  I’m going to walk by that cute Jackie O jacket in Forever 21 and
that adorable dress at H & M because 2 or 3 months later, I will be walking by
in a fabulous new pair of to-die-for Manolos.   And, when my new Manolo
Blahniks or Christian Louboutins break, I’m going to a cobbler.

<3 GC

Dear Ebay, I effing LOVE you! April 12, 2008

So, I go through “ebay phases.”  AKA phases where I miss the city and “real shopping.”  Bloomies, Neiman Marcus, shops in Soho and the village.  For Christ’s sake, I have dreams of the Staten Island Mall.  Ah, a real mall.  With fountains, plural.  And more than one floor.  And escalators!  Four different wings, department stores…  all those shoes.  Crossgates is too far.  And xgates does not have what I want.  Xgates does not have juicy.  It does not have vineyard vines.  It has a very limited supply of Ralph Lauren.  Ergo: EBAY.  That miraculous, unending font of fashion, couture and miscellaneous junk people are clearing out of their garage.  You can find couture from Japan, Milan, Paris… the list goes on and on.   You can find anything, from sweaters to shoes to bathtubs.  If it is to be had, you can find it on ebay.

However, ebay is not perfect.  It is full of designer imposters.   Horrible, vile indiviuals who put juicy couture labels on crap that is not juicy.  People who spell gucci with one c, people who, sacre bleu! sell fake joe jeans!   Therefore, one can spend hours sifting through ebay, looking at photos of tags, reading “how to tell if xyz is authentic” guides, trying to deduce if what you intend to bid on is real, or a knockoff.

But, after your meticulous 4 hour search, you paypal it, and come home one day to find a package on your doorstep.  You didn’t go to Paris.   You didn’t go to Milan, or even Bloomingdales.  Couture has come to YOU.   Therein lies the miracle that is ebay.

Fin.
<3 GC